Work from home MomWorking from home Mama
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How it really feels to be a work-at-home mother.
Mom! I'm afraid! "I want Mommy!" screams my boy. "She' s working, sweetheart," my man says to him. "He says that my mother was always very preoccupied with the work and swings back and forth in the foetal posture on the sofa. However, the blame associated with working from home is genuine and was something I never really anticipated.
When I was very young, I had always dreamt of being a housewife. Thought I' d work for a while, then get wed, have children and make maternity my full-timers. After working for a while, I got remarried, but when our first child showed up, we couldn't really allow myself not to work at all.
From home, I founded a small publishing company that enabled me to make some money and maintain my career at work. I wanted more work after a while, so I began doing on-line tutoring. What was it? My lessons were scheduled according to my husband's timetable and everything worked well.
Quickly forward 15 years, and I had at least seven jobs from home, usually more than one at a time. Sure. The best of all is what I get - to create my own timetable, be with my children during the days, keep my feet in the doorstep and contribute to my homeownership.
It makes me very happy that I have been able to find work that I can do from home all these years. To work from home means to do my work in my house literal. When I am not rigorously discipline with my own amount of work, which is not my strength, it is too simple to wipe out the boundaries between work and home.
My tendency is to work all morning and night in sprays, which gives the feeling of working all night, even if I only work part-time. I' m afraid that's what my children see, too. I' m home, but most of the goddamn fucking night I' m not there.
You see me working, but I'm at the computer, which doesn't necessarily mean I'm "working" for you. If I get up early to get up a few minutes before waking up, they always seem to get up early. Waiting until they're in beds to get a few workinghours, they call me from their bunks or want a heartfelt, profound debate all of a sudden till the end of the day.
Often I avoid this problem by working in cafés, which is one of my favourite pastimes anyway. Throughout the years, I have found that holding small children without using too many monitors usually causes a certain amount of disorder. Employed children = lucky children = Mommy can work continuously for a while, but it also means more cleaning times and power for Mommy (or more precisely, for the children, but to teach them also takes my own times and energy).
Never do I have to miss anything of which my children are a part, and I can spend a great deal of my free moment with my little souls. So I was compelled to study, divide my times and put clear limits on what is a good thing. It made me realize that I didn't have to admit that I was feeling guilty because I worked in front of my children, although I have to admit that sometimes I still fight with them.